I Don’t Talk to Her Very Much: Is Their Hope for Reconcilation?

I Don’t Talk to Her Very Much: Is Their Hope for Reconcilation?

There is always hope for reconcilation when one party is willing to extend the hand of love and forgiveness.

Riding out on a part of a shift with one of the police officers I serve with is always a learning experience. When I rode on a patrol shift recently, the officer was I accompanying took a young man to the county jail for an offense. (I will not disclose the day it occurred or the nature of the infraction for privacy purposes.) The officer asked him repeatedly both before placing him under arrest and during the booking process at the jail if there was someone who could be called on his behalf. In this particular case, if a responsible adult had come to our location,  his arrest might have been prevented. He seemed reluctant to share such information. In fact, he told use there was nobody we could contact on his behalf. He never mentioned his parents, and since he was not a juvenile there was no reason to inquire about them. But while he was being booked into the jail his mother called…

She was obviously concerned about her son. We asked him: why didn’t you tell us that your mother lived here? He said: “I don’t talk to her very much.” I was overwhelmed with sadness for the poor kid. (And yes he is still a kid in my eyes.) He has a strained relationship with his mother for undisclosed reasons. It made me wonder if he had burned his bridges with his mother, or if she too was irresponsible?

As I drove home in the wee hours of the morning following that experience, I thought about my own boys. I think my boys love and value me. But when it comes to their mother, she is “Saint Mother” in their eyes. They adore their mom. And of course she has earned that kind of respect and esteem over the years.

I have been around the block enough to know that breakdowns occur. My heart broke for a lady who carried that young man in her womb years ago. She nurtured him as an infant and no doubt did what mother’s do for their children, as he grew up. (Based on what scant information we had that at the jail I am fairly certain the above facts are true.)

My heart goes out to moms and dads everywhere whose relationships are strained with their children.  I know that parents make grievious mistakes in as much as children do. I pray that 2011 will be characterized by reconciliation and heartfelt reunions. I would urge those same mom and dads not to give up hope. And I would hope that parents struggling with such breakdowns would be surrounded by supportive and encouraging friends. When that young man is released from jail, I also hope that he will “start talking to his mother more…

I would ask today:  Who are you “not talking to very much” right now?  What can you do to initiate contact and make it better? Make that call today. Compose that email. There is always hope for reconcilation when one party is willing to extend the hand of love and forgiveness.  It sounds like a good way to begin a new year.

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