I am impossible to satisfy. I suppose I have no clue what it means to be content. I have whined for over three weeks now about my two college age sons staying up all night and sleeping all day. We have clashed about curfews and trips into Fort Worth. I decided today it was time to send both of them packing to their respective university campuses.
I met both of them at Walmart this afternoon to stock them up on groceries. A new microwave and coffeemaker somehow ended up in the basket along the way. I even think the lady that checked us out felt some empathy for me. I proceeded to fill both of their cars with gas and head home.
But then it came time for my college senior to head out. I hugged him and told him I loved him. I won’t have to wonder what time he is coming home tonight. He will be back at his apartment. When he pulled out of the driveway, I knew at that very moment that he had most likely spent his last long Christmas break at home with us. By next Christmas, he will have graduated. He will be ready to experience the real world. He will be gainfully employed…I hope!
I really have no clue what it means to be content. I am overwhelmed with sadness. I read a piece that a good friend shared this morning entitled: “An Eleven Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids.” I laughed so hard. It brought back a flood of memories. When my firstborn drove off this afternoon, my mind raced back to that more innocent time.
I recalled watching The Arsenio Hall Show late at night as I walked a baby with colic. I thought about changing my very first diapers. And I recalled taking him out of church and watching the trucks barrel down Hwy 287 in Wichita Falls. And of course I remembered trying to explain to him that he could not act like David killing Goliath, when he threw a rock at a kid on the playground during his Kindergarten year.
I must learn to the secret of being content. I have some idea of what that secret is actually. The secret of being content is to be thankful for what life brings during a particular period. That time will vanish and it won’t be repeated.
I will never be a skinny 27 year old with a thick head of brown hair holding a baby again. The secret of being content is to enjoy going to Walmart with two knuckleheads before they load their cars and head back to their temporary homes. The secret of being content is to be thankful. Tonight I am finding the desire to be content to be very satisfying… Tomorrow I will send the second one back to his dorm. I hope the desire to bve content will return then!