My mother was widowed unexpectedly at age 50. Keep in mind that she was very old school. Her life as a stay-at-home mom revolved around my dad and her three children. She could have chosen a much different life. She earned a degree in French from Florida State University. She told me that she aspired to work in a diplomat’s office overseas.  But when we she graduated her mother informed her that she would stay in Jacksonville, FL and help with the family. She ended up teaching second grade.  It was during that period that she met my dad on a blind date in 1950.

In 1978, she found herself suddenly on her own. I was 15. My sisters had been gone for several years. Kerry lived in Chicago. Thankfully, Kim and Rocky lived much closer.

I watched my mother grieve. The silence was deafening. My mother was a very social and chatty person. Now she was withdrawn and quiet. I had no clue how to react. I just wanted to escape.

Over time she adjusted. She joined a church in 1979. Engaging in activities there provided her new and helpful social outlets. She formed friendships that continued until her death. She encouraged me to bring my friends to our home and she eagerly cooked homemade meals.

She volunteered at my niece’s elementary school and babysat Kerri until Kim could get off work She learned to manage money, maintain a home, and take the car for maintenance.

And she extended a lot of grace to me. A lot of grace… I was grieving too. But my grief surfaced in rebellious behaviors. I did not want to be at home. I chose to be away as much as possible. My grief continued to surface in the form of anger.

My mother also “loosened up” a lot during those critical years. She was known for being pretty uptight and proper to a fault prior to my father’s death. Grief changed her. She grew to be more tolerant and accepting.

My mother modeled resilience during those years. She rarely complained. She taught me what adapting to change looks like. And most importantly she continued to be an outstanding mother. She never gave up on me. And I gave her every reason to thrown in the towel.

Those who know me well recognize that I have a heart for people dealing with unexpected grief.  My third lesson from Weezy: grief is hard. Grief is a journey. And grief should not be done flying solo. I have spent a huge part of my career serving those who are facing the reality of unexpected grief. Now you have a better idea of where that calling originated….