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The Drawbridge to your Heart
I read The Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis in 1981. It remains one of my all-time favorite books. McGinnis says: “If we build more windows, and fewer walls we have more friends.” I believe he is correct. Well-constructed emotional walls impede relationship development. I am thankful for friendships that go back many years! But as I have aged, I have grown more cautious. And I have destroyed friendships over the years too. It’s heartbreaking, but true. Henri Nouwen in…
Restoring Credibility
When s When someone hurts us, the pain reverberates. The relationship with the offending party is damaged. In some cases, there is collateral damage too. Other relationships are impacted. The credibility that the offender once held in our eyes often vanishes. After all that person hurt us! We get caught up in an emotional storm. During that storm the determination is made that the other person is no longer credible. Period. They don’t know anything anymore! It is even tempting…
An Adoptive Spirit
My middle son turns 30 a week from today. I remember his birth like it happened yesterday. A dad himself now, it will be a special day. I turned thirty three weeks prior to his birth. I remember that day clearly as well. My mother passed away months prior to my 30th birthday. My dad preceded her in death when I was fifteen. I remember turning thirty and feeling like an orphan. I quickly dismissed such “ridiculous” thinking and did…
Growing Up With Weezy: Lesson #3
My mother was widowed unexpectedly at age 50. Keep in mind that she was very old school. Her life as a stay-at-home mom revolved around my dad and her three children. She could have chosen a much different life. She earned a degree in French from Florida State University. She told me that she aspired to work in a diplomat’s office overseas. But when we she graduated her mother informed her that she would stay in Jacksonville, FL and help…
Growing Up with Weezy: Lesson #1
My family lived in four states during my formative years. There were at least five moves prior to my birth, so my sisters endured even more transitions. Professionally speaking our father was a very stable man but the promotions he received usually led to a move across the country. He was a company man. That was designation corporate employees received during the post-war economic boom in the 1950’s. In looking back at those years, I realize now that my mother…
Returning to the 7th Grade: My Experience as a Mentor
Our church adopted a local middle school about 5 years ago. We have been able to serve a plethora of needs at that campus, but more recently we have really promoted a mentoring effort. I had my first mentoring session with a seventh grader last Monday. I ordered a medium sized pizza and brought it to school. I ate one piece, and he consumed the rest. That is precisely what I expected. I would have been disappointed if there were…
What Do You Do with Hurtful Words?
I have been coaching and judging high school debate on a volunteer basis for over 30 years. I try impress on students the importance of solid argumentation. And that means not being trapped by common fallacies. Hasty generalizations are one example of a common fallacy. A hasty generalization is a claim based on a few examples rather than substantial proof. When someone says something to me that is hurtful, I am notorious about drawing hasty generalizations. I had that experience…
Life is a Vapor: A Tribute to Ray Christenson
The Facebook message seemingly came out of nowhere on January 19th of this year. It was short and to the point. It simply said: John, did you live on 4 mile as a kid? (4 mile is the name of a road by the way.) I replied in the affirmative, so the next message was even simpler. It read: Remember me? How could anyone forget Ray Christenson? Ray lived almost directly across the road from the house I grew up…
Difficult Family Members!
When someone we love is having difficulty and is giving us a bad time, it’s better to explore the cause than to criticize the action. Zig Ziglar Tis the time of year of family conflict. The holidays have a way of exposing cracks in the foundation of familial relationships. People that do not ordinarily get together find themselves placing their feet under unfamiliar tables. It is an uncomfortable experience at best. All out of war is the worst scenario. Years-ago…