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When someone hurts us, the pain reverberates. The relationship with the offending party is damaged. In some cases, there is collateral damage too. Other relationships are impacted. The credibility that the offender once held in our eyes often vanishes.

After all that person hurt us! We get caught up in an emotional storm. During that storm the determination is made that the other person is no longer credible. Period. They don’t know anything anymore! It is even tempting to hurt their credibility in the eyes of others.

About 23 years ago I had a major falling out with someone. That is a long time! That individual hurt me profoundly. Words were exchanged. The relationship unraveled.

About 10 years later reconciliation occurred. Civility replaced open hostility. Mutual forgiveness was extended. It was a good thing. But the relationship remained distant at best.

Recently, overtures were made that clearly communicated that this individual is a very credible person. I realized how unfair it is to wipe a person’s credibility away when there has been serious conflict. Part of the reconciliation process is to allow such a credible stance to be restored.  

I am thankful that my perception of a person who once hurt me has changed completely. It has taken 23 years. And that is way too long. It reflects my stubbornness. Where are you on the reconciliation journey today?