It has been a long time since I was in the 7th grade. I do mean a long time. 1974 to be more precise. I was an awkward 7th grader with very little self confidence. I remember giving a speech in English class that year. I was an avid golfer, so I did a demonstration speech on the game of golf. Apparently my English teacher was not impressed with my speaking abilities, or my knowledge of golf. I received a “D” on the speech. There have been times that I have wanted to go look that teacher up and tell her that I taught freshman speech in a university on a part-time basis years later. I would show her! I decided against it, because my golf game is still at the same level it was when I was in the 7th grade. The poor grade on the speech is not a reflection on her abilities as a educator. I was just an awkward kid with very little self confidence.

I also figured out that world was not a nice place in the 7th grade. I attended a junior high school that was experiencing court ordered racial integration for the first time. It was not a pleasant experience. I was not inlined to be racist, even as a 12 year old. But I found out in the 7th grade that there are a lot of racist people in the world. I saw some cruel and awful things take place that year. That experience did little to promote self confidence, or help any of us grow beyond our pre-teen awkwardness.

Heather _________ was my heart throb in the 7th grade. I will not include her last name, because she never knew that she was the object of my adolescent romantic inclinations. It is probably best at this point to keep it that way. I just admired her from a distance. I never had the nerve to actually go talk to her I was just an awkward kid with very little self confidence.

7th grade finally came to an end in June of 1975. I was relieved. I did not leave anything behind. There were no memorable teachers that year. It was good to be relieved of the tensions that forced integration brought to that campus. Heather did not know that I existed.

8th grade was a much better year for me. 9th grade was marked with even more significant improvements. I quickly blocked everything that happened in the 7th grade out of my memory. Even Heather was quickly forgotten. Well….maybe not quickly forgotten, but she too became only a vague memory. My mind has really traveled very few times back to 1974 until yesterday…

I was packing for a last minute trip to see Randall in Abilene late yesterday afternoon, so I put Mitchell in charge of getting dinner prepared. I coached him through each step, and he eagerly embraced the responsiblity of being the lone chef of the evening. The car was packed and dinner was on the table. I praised him in front of Jan and Daniel. “You did a great job Mitchell!” He just beamed with obvious pride. You see…Mitchell is in the 7th grade.

In a split second, my mind traveled back to 1974. A sudden feeling of overwhelming awkwardness came over me. I felt what is was like to have no self confidence. I looked at Mitchell with a new level of empathy. Of course he beamed when he was praised. I thought to myself: “He is in the 7th grade stupid!” Next Tuesday will be his last day in the 7th grade. I am so glad for him! I was reminded yesterday of the importance of building him up, and instilling a sense of self worth in his heart. I wonder what has gone on at school this year that he has not shared? I wonder if his “Heather” will promote to the 8th grade with him next year? I do know that I need to dig up memories that I would prefer to leave buried if I am going to be a good father. After all, I was just an awkward kid with very little self confidence in the 7th grade…