My oldest son turns 20 today. I wonder what he thinks about his growing up years in our home. He was already on my mind this morning since it is his birthday. A class at Camp Cornerstone today made me wonder about his perceptions of our home.

This morning I attended one focusing on authenticity in family relationships. The teacher flashed some photos of shoes in various states of wear on the screen. There was a pair of well worn work shoes, a pair of women’s dress shoes with a broken heel, a pair of faded Converse high tops, and a brand new pair of expensive running shoes.
The teacher proceeded to ask the kids to compare their life at home with the shoes they were seeing on the screen. I was quite surprised at their honesty.

One girl said that her family was like the high heels…broken. Another said her family was worn out by all of the constant drama between her parents. She could identify with the worn work shoes. I missed some of the responses
because I was trying to process what was said by the first few students. What do you do with that kind of information?

There is a part of me that wants to follow some of those kids home, and let the boom down on mom and dad. That is not very realistic or helpful. I was reminded again that every choice I make impacts my children. That is not really profound conclusion, but nevertheless it is of utmost importance. The selfishness of adults is so destructive in the lives of children.

Once my anger toward selfish parents subsided, I started thinking rationally again. I rededicated my heart to reaching to kids, period. I have no control over their home life. I can do my part to make their life better. I can spend a week at camp reaching out to them, and showing them love in very basic ways. Mitchell moves on to the high school session next year. I can give up going to this middle school camp. Or can I? Right now I am just not sure.

Today I am grateful for God’s grace. I continue to make a lot of mistakes as a father. I am grateful that God teaches us lessons in all kinds of ways, so those mistakes can be corrected. I am thankful that God accepts us, no matter what condition our shoes happen to be in the time.

Today I am grateful for well prepared teachers who have something of substance to share with the kids. The teacher flashing shoes up on the screen went on to make excellent applications, and challenge the kids to be authentic Christians in their home. He no doubt helped the students feel better about the family shoes they must wear everyday.

My oldest son turns twenty today. I wonder what kind of shoes he would pick, as he looks back on his growing up years in our home…