Long before my children were teenagers a wise friend shared a profound insight regarding friendship. He said that kids in the teen years need one best friend.
If they have a circle of friends, that is frosting on the cake. But all teenagers need one best friend. His observation countered what I had always thought up until that point.

When I was a young parent, I wanted my kids to have a wide array of friends to run around with. I was a proponent of youth group activities at church, and looked forward to the day when my boys would be old enough to participate in such events. It did not cross my mind that what the boys would really need is one best friend. I tucked my friend’s observation back in my head, and pondered it over the years, as my children quickly grew up.

I have found that his conclusion is correct. Teens indeed need one best friend.
As a parent, you want such a close associate of your child’s be a great kid. I have been fortunate. All three of my boys have made pretty solid choices in the friendship department. Their respective best friends have been a good source of support and fun for all three of them.

They have participated in group activities too. And that has proven to be important as well. I am not underestimating the value of church youth groups and extracurricular activities at school. Both of those resources are extremely valuable. My friend was correct. Every teen needs one best friend.

What about adults? Do adults still need friends? I would certainly hope that is the case! I am more fortunate than most. I have an array of close friends of all ages. I have been close to some of them for over 30 years. Others entered my life when I was a young minister. Still others entered the picture only recently.
I thank God for each of them very frequently.

Adults also need one best friend. I would submit that for married adults that person should be none other than your spouse. I am leading a marriage enrichment class on Wednesday nights featuring a video presentation by marriage counselors and speakers Jerry and Lynn Jones. Jerry and Lynn lead a ministry called Marriage Matters. In the presentation we watched last night, they reaffirmed the ideal of marriage partners being best friends.

I was reminded of my fiend’s comment years ago about teen friendship, as I watched the video presentation. Married adults need one best friend too…
It seems like such a basic idea. Why do so many couples miss that point?
I wonder if we get the order reversed. The social groups we are a part of as adults take precedence over friendship with our spouse.

I am grateful for my best friend. We have been best friends for over 26 years now. It is amazing that she still likes me. We do all of the things that best friends are supposed to do. We enjoy each other’s company. We have fun together. We share common interests. We have quite a list of private jokes that exist exclusively between us. She does not hesitate to put ice cubes down my back or squirt toothpaste in my hair, when I push her buttons. I am grateful for my best friend. I think every adult needs one. And every married adult should already have one. Best friends should buy lunch every now and then. I think I will sponge off of mine, and make her buy today…uh…again