I just can’t help it… People in the counseling profession occasionally hear such firm assertions. When confronted with inappropriate behavior, the response is: I just can’t help it. That is pretty weak. A good counselor will guide a person to see the importance of personal responsibility. I heard the: I can’t help it phrase in a much different context this afternoon at the funeral service for Neva Lacy.

Neva was a dedicated volunteer at the Southside Church of Christ in Ft. Worth for over 60 years. At the service today, one of the officiators guessed that she probably prepared at least 5,000 meals over that 60 year period for families experiencing a time of sickness or a death. But her favorite avenue of service was volunteering at the Tarrant County Jail in Ft. Worth.

As a law enforcement chaplain, I have been in a lot of jails over the years. My role, however, has always been to serve the officers, and not the inmates. I do know firsthand that county jails are not the most desirable places to visit. They have their own distinct odor and it is not pleasant. The behavior of inmates, when visitors are present, can be obnoxious and vulgar. It is a jail, so there is some degree of threat to personal safety.

Neva told people repeatedly that the female inmates she visited did not have a grandma. It was her calling to be a grandma to those women. She continued to visit and encourage women, who in some cases had been charged with felonies. At age 83, she realized it was time to retire from her service at the jail.

There are rules for those who visit the Tarrant County Jail in a volunteer capacity.
One of those rules is: you cannot hug an inmate. That is a clear violation of volunteer protocol. Neva had a response to that rule. She said: I know we are not supposed to hug the inmates, but I just can’t help it… She decided it was a case where it was just easier to get forgiveness than permission. I doubt Tarrant County had a jailer in their employ who had enough courage to tell Neva Lacy that hugs were off limits.

I suspect she quite literally touched the lives of a lot of women for decades in the Tarrant County Jail of all places. I find myself tempted to use the: I can’t help it phrase in reference to all kinds of behaviors. But I am not sure I have ever used it for such a noble reason. Neva has been added to my personal hall of fame of heroes. I too want to be able to tell my friends that I hugged someone who was vulnerable and in trouble, because I simply could not help it.

34″Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Matthew 25:34-36