I concluded that he just did not like me. I worked for a police supervisor a number of years ago who is a fine man. For some odd reason I had a very difficult time connecting with him. He seemed distant. I found it difficult to communicate with him. And yet those who had known him for a long time obviously had great respect for his character and leadership. Long time friends seemed to have positive connections with him. My imagination is vivid. I proceeded to formulate a lengthy list of reasons for him not to like me. It is very unfair to jump to conclusions about people when we only possess some of the facts.

He concluded that I did not like him. About 14 or 15 years ago I got off to a really bad start with another gentleman. And he concluded that I did not like him. He was actually correct in that assumption. At the time, I did not like him. After all I had done my homework. I asked a credible individual about his character and did not get a favorable report. He was immediately tossed aside in the relational waste basket. I could not have been any more foolish. It is indeed very unfair to jump to conclusions about people when only have some of the facts.

About a month ago I ran into the police supervisor. He was cordial and friendly. We connected immediately. I could tell he was very genuine. What is the difference? I discovered there were stressful issues going on in his life during the time period I worked with him. He was preoccupied and withdrawn for quite some time. And that just happened to be about the time that I entered the picture. I determined recently that he always liked me. I volunteer for another department now, but he truly misses me. It is very unfair to jump to conclusions about people when we only possess some of the facts.

In recent years, I have become very close to the gentleman I got off to a bad start with. What an irony. That bad start actually deteriorated into intense conflict. We both knew we didn’t like each other! After burying the hatchet, we learned a lot about each other. When we initially met, neither one of us were in a good place in life. We were facing our respective conflicts on different fronts. Unfortunately we did not take the time to peel a few layers back and discover the real people buried underneath the surface. Today we enjoy a deep and meaningful friendship. I will always protect what we enjoy with each other. It is very unfair to jump to conclusions about people when we only possess some of the facts.

Today I will be tempted to judge someone prematurely. I hate to admit it, but I know it will happen. I am not always very fair with people. I can be judgmental. I intend to consciously catch my thoughts long before they start racing down the judgmental freeway. I plan to assume that the person I am tempted to judge may very well be facing hurdles that I know nothing about. Those same individuals could be dealing with chronic issues that have damaged them emotionally. It could be just a bad time in life for that person.

The real story actually can and will come to the surface, but I know that is not possible unless I choose to be an excellent listener. Traveling at a high rate of speed down the judgmental freeway precludes hearing the real story. Today I will shut the freeway down and block the entry ramp with two good ears. Life is too short to allow meaningful relationships to be destroyed before they have an opportunity to blossom. Just imagine what we are missing out on as we race down a freeway that leads only to misery and conflict. It is very unfair to jump to conclusions about people when we only possess some of the facts….