I don’t think being raised as preacher’s kids has been all that rough on my boys, but I am sure they would tell a very different story.  I am sure it would be one worth listening to very carefully.   They were conscripted into doing a few things that normal kids did not have to do.  When I needed to make pastoral visits at the nursing home, I often coerced them into going with me.  Older people confined to care facilities love small children, and I knew it was not going to hurt mine to join me on such excursions.  I did not realize at the time that I was actually doing myself potential harm!

Occasionally, we visited a facility that will remain unnamed to protect the guilty. It was awful.  A putrid odor permeated every nook and cranny of that forsaken building.  I would not be able to sleep at night if I knew my loved one was living in that dump. I did not see any obvious signs of abuse, but I strongly suspected some of the employees were frequent flyers in the judicial system.  Unfortunately, my boys are keen observers. They continue to use the childhood experience of visiting this hall of nightmares against me.

When I fail to meet the expectations of my three boys, they collectively remind me that they will seek a placement for me in the above mentioned nursing home.  They even remember the name of it!  Obviously, I will be at a point in life when I can no longer care for myself, if that need arises.  They are threatening to put poor old vulnerable dad in a place like that!   And of course putting their mother in such a place has never been mentioned.  The worst thing about all of this is: they smile as they tell me.   Do they not have conscience at all?

Old dad is actually several steps ahead of them.  I have this thing figured out.  I will get Daniel to pick out my nursing home. He is thoughtful and cautious.  I will count on Randall to be my personal advocate.  If a nursing home or Medicare or anyone else tries to take advantage of me, I will actually feel sorry for them before it is over. Randall is not easily intimidated.  I want him on my side. I won’t be lonely at the nursing home because Mitchell will come to see me.   He is very compassionate.

How will I avoid becoming a victim of their threats?  I have not told them the news…. The state closed down the nursing home in question several years ago.  I am just keeping that under wraps.  I need some time to prepare them for their respective roles.  In this process, I have actually learned something…

It is important to practice the Golden Rule with everyone. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
If I want to be treated with respect and dignity in my old age, then I should treat my children with respect and dignity now.  Raising children has never been easy.  But I don’t think anyone ever told me to practice the Golden Rule with my children.  Those particular words were not said.  It is important.  We should treat them the way we want to be treated.  It sounds pretty basic, but I think we often miss the target in that regard.  I know I do.  I am going to think about the Golden Rule this year, as I parent three boys that are nearly grown.
And I will grin to myself because they don’t know that their favorite nursing home is now a part of history!