I used my porcupine analogy from a previous blog (March 30th) in a sermon focused on dealing with difficult people last Sunday. I referred to difficult people as the porcupines among us. Tomorrow is Part II of that sermon. I even added another category of porcupines based on a comment in the church foyer following my sermon last week. She noted that chronic complainers should be added the listing of porcupines. I agree and plan to refer to them Whiny Porcupines tomorrow morning.

What do we do with the porcupines among us? When they shoot their quills, it hurts. Sometimes we even get poked unexpectedly. Should difficult people have the right to control our attitude? There are no easy answers, but here is the list I plan to share in the morning.

1. Porcupines tempt us to become vindictive. They make us want to lash out and bite back. It is tempting for us to think: I have quills too and mine are sharper! When we lash back it only accomplishes one thing: it raises the conflict level. Shoving matches usually don’t have a helpful outcome. Patience must carry the day. Being the non anxious presence lead has a great likelihood of fostering peace and health in relationships.

2. Porcupines tempt us to withdraw. It is too hard. People’s problems are overwhelming. We are tempted to withdraw from helping people.

3. Porcupines tempt us to be selfish. Serving others is a lot of trouble. It is a lot easier to spend all of my time on the golf course.

4. Porcupines tempt us to throw people away. When we get our fill of dealing with a difficult person, it is tempting to throw that relationship away. The truth is: the most difficult among also need love the most.

I have to remind myself on a very regular basis not to let difficult people dictate to me. Their actions should not determine my attitude. As a rule, the porcupines I describe in my March 30th blog are in desperate need of love. It would be a travesty for us to give up on them. There are no easy answers, because in some cases tough love is needed. Expressing tough love is another subject for another day. But tomorrow I will be preaching about those quill bearing mammals who come in both four and two legged models.