The fall of 1981 still ranks as one of the most difficult and perplexing times in my life. I dropped out of Texas Tech as a sophomore that semester for a variety of reasons. I hated being a business major and accounting in particular. I had a good job that paid well, so why stay in school? And of course there was a girl involved. A very unhealthy relationship ended early on during the course of that semester. It was a painful time.

I went to work fulltime in the auto parts business. It was a good job and there was definitely room for advancement. But as Christmas decorations began going up around Lubbock that year, I found myself yearning for more. I felt like I was supposed to do something else with my life. I knew that I needed to go back to school. I still lacked some basic direction in terms of academic and career goals.

I ended up doing what 19 year old men generally choose not to do. I sought out my mother’s advice. At that point, my father had been deceased for almost 4 years. I was still blessed with one very dependable parent to lean on for counsel. I told her that I could not fathom majoring in business or anything related to it. I confessed that I loathed accounting. I asked her what I should do. My traditional Southern mother was not known for being shy or for beating around the bush. She was very direct in her counsel, but I will never forget the advice she dispensed that day.

She began by asking me one question: “What do you like? What kind of coursework is appealing?” There was an easy answer to that question. I like speech and debate. Communications courses of all kinds appeal to me. Then she said: “Major in speech communications.” I immediately replied: “What kind of job can I get with a degree in speech communications?” And then she said: “Worry about that later, but major in something you like.” That turned out to be some of the best advice my mother ever gave me. I went back to school the next semester. In fact, I finished a degree in speech communications.

Ten years later my mother was gone. I was 29 years old when she died. But I am still living with the benefits of her sound advice that she dispensed when I was 19. If her words had been the least bit discouraging, I would not have gone back to school. The direction of my life would have been very different.

I found myself this afternoon dreading Mother’s Day this weekend. It is not my favorite day of the year. I feel great sadness on Mother’s Day. But I made a conscious choice not do dread it this year. I decided instead to spend the time reflecting on all of the wonderful ways that my mother has impacted my life. Her advice that she eagerly dispensed in her charming Southern drawl in 1981 certainly ranks at the top of that list. Now I have to figure out how to emulate her wisdom in my relationship with my own children and their peers. I may need to write on that soon…