The complexities of loyalty… There are many! Loyalty in a relationship is a priceless attribute. I have known that for a long time. But such an important relational pillar can become very involved and thorny.

When it comes to loyalty, my mouth can get me in trouble in a New York minute.
I am very intolerant of people that insult or demean those closest to me. Such intolerance is generally verbalized in a rather direct manner. I am quick to stand up for my friends. Tact is often replaced with brutally blunt forms of verbal expression. So loyalty can become a little tricky.

A number of years ago I found myself in one of those delicate situations. When I was a college student, I was interested in a girl that I knew from school. She was cute. She was nice. And she was unattached… But there was a problem. Her former boyfriend was a friend of mine. I think there is a good chance that she broke that poor boy’s heart. I had to make a choice: Pursue her or let it go based on loyalty to my friend. It is one of those times when loyalty becomes tricky.

Forgive me. Don’t hold it against me. I was 20 years old. I chunked the loyalty I felt toward my friend and began a romantic relationship with the above mentioned girl. That is never a good idea. My friendship with him was never quite the same, and the romance came to an end after a period of time.

A few years earlier as a high school student, I threw a longtime friend under the bus, because he did not fit into the new group I started running with when we were about 16. That would mark another time when loyalty became complex.

Actually that is not true. There was nothing tricky or complex about it. I threw him under the bus plain and simple. I was young and immature. A few years later I came to deeply regret those actions, but the damage was done. It was not until last year that I was able to finally able to ask for his forgiveness and seek reconciliation. Thirty years after the event in question…

Today I was faced with another one of those thorny loyalty issues. I cannot divulge the details, but I can say that I handled this one better. I caught myself going down a familiar path. I was about to make some choices that would put several longtime friendships in imminent jeopardy. But I caught myself. I am not 20 years old today nor am I 16.

I am old enough to know that people are important. Relationships truly are priceless. I don’t want anyone close to me having the tire marks of a bus imprinted on their chest. I want my friends and family alike to know that I am going to stand behind them no matter what. In fact, the only thing I want them to have to worry about is running for cover when another individual insults them. They will need to find that cover, because I will get excited and be blunt. Tact will go out the door. Loyalty is just involved and thorny…