I must confess. I am careless. I leave my keys in a variety of nooks and crannies in our home previously unknown to mankind, so when it comes time to leave the house I am in deep trouble. Where did I put those keys? I leave things at the office that should go home. And I leave things at home that should be at the office. I lose grocery lists before arriving at Walmart. Our church treasurer tracks me down every month asking for receipts. I smile sheepishly and hope deep down in my heart that the receipts she is requesting are not wadded up in a pocket of a pair of pants that is undergoing the rinse cycle in the washer machine as we speak. I am hopelessly careless.

Carelessness is fairly harmless when it comes to car keys and receipts. It can be a useful attribute when it comes to grocery lists. (Conveniently replace Oreos with the broccoli that was on the list…) But carelessness is lethal when it comes to verbal communication. Careless mouths do untold damage.

As a minister, I occasionally will have critical things said to me. Those conversations almost always end up being pretty constructive. More often I hear negative comments that were said about me. If I am willing to go to the trouble to track the source down and confront the comment head on, then that too can turn out to be positive. And then on very rare occasions I will hear disapproving things said about Jan or the boys. I have a wonderful wife and the best kids on the face of the earth. (They have their mother’s genes thankfully.) But once in a great while someone will get a dig in on one of them. When that happens, I become completely irrational. I would suspect that most people become irrational under such circumstances, because careless mouths do untold damage.

Careless words directed at a person’s children or other members of their family do monumental damage. In some cases, the damage cannot be repaired. Yesterday a friend of mine told me about a comment his mother made about his two small children. She told a family a family friend: “See how horrible they are.” The comment was a reference to the perceived behavior of his children. I should point out that I know the children in question, and they are very well behaved. The comment was not made in his presence. He did not even hear about it until long after it was made. The damage is done. A careless mouth has done untold damage.

Making sweeping statements about a person’s child is not helpful to a parent. As my boys get older, I continue to become increasingly empathetic to parents raising young children. There are so many obstacles to overcome. Kids can struggle in so many different ways. I have been down many of those roads with my children. And I see kids struggling in ways that mine did not, but I still try to be very supportive.  As a veteran parent, I know that careless words do untold damage!

Believe me I am no saint. My mouth has always had transmission issues. It goes in gear while my brain remains in park. Careless comments made about another person’s child are inexcusable. I would strongly urge all of us to think very carefully before we launch any kind of commentary about a child. After all they are kids… I am going to head out to buy a few groceries in a few minutes armed with a list that may or may not make it onto the premises of the store. At least I plan to go to the store if I can find my keys… But I will leave the house thinking about the consequences of my words, because I know that careless mouths do untold damage…