Some dear friends of mine recently met with their high school classmates for a 30 year reunion. I can’t imagine being that old, so it was fun to hear a few stories about their time of reconnecting. As they made final preparations for the big event, I started wondering what it would be like to be with old friends and acquaintances that you have not seen for decades, in some instances. All kinds of images started running through my head.

Here is an assessment from one person who attended:

It was so much fun! It was so great to see people in person and there was lots of hugging. People were really happy to see each other, and if we weren’t sure, we just said, now who are you?? 🙂

Why was it such a positive experience? I think there are several reasons. For starters the reunion organizers are fine people, who have the gift of bringing diverse people together. But I can’t help but think that the passage of time is another contributing factor. When my 10 year high school reunion rolled around, I gave no thought whatsoever to attending. I was still in contact with my closest friends from high school at that point and I didn’t really care what anyone else was doing. I was busy taking caring of an infant son and getting established in a career. In the case of this recent event, 30 years has flown by!

A lot can happen during the span of three decades. Children are born. Children grow up and leave home. Classmates are affected by serious illness. Marriages take place and divorces occur as well. There are deceased classmates. Life happens.

Unfortunately high school students can tend to be social exclusivists. Not all teens fall into such a category, but high schools tend to be a breeding ground for exclusive behavior. There are the “in” cliques and then there are there other groups that are…well they are not “in.” Seventeen year old kids are not old enough to appreciate peers for their intrinsic value. Over the course of three decades all of that changes.

As life happens, those exclusive tendencies gradually started melting like snow in the Midwest during the month of March. Life has a way of fostering humility. There are disappointments and tragedies. Friends struggle. There are financial highs to enjoy and lows to endure.

By the time a group of people reach age 48, they realize that people are important. Friendships from all eras of life are priceless. Being inclusive becomes the greater priority. Old relationships are renewed and new ones are formed. And that process leads to reunion events, where it is great to see each other in person. Cherished hugs are exchanged.

I can’t imagine being that old. And I fantasize about things other than age too. The truth is: I am 48 years old. I know many of the individuals who attended the above mentioned reunion, because I went to elementary and junior high with a number of them. I have been privileged to reconnect with several of them during the course of the past 9 months.

They are indeed an inclusive group. They have adopted me, as if I went to school with them through high school graduation. I feel sort of like the kid who ran away from his family, but was he welcomed with open arms when he finally decided to come home. Life has happened to me too since I moved from that community. I think my behavior is thus more inclined to be inclusive as well at this stage in life.

I am sure there are those who will never grow out of their socially exclusive leanings. That is a real tragedy. I just know that I am grateful tonight for friends from all walks and periods of life. My life is better as a result of my friendships with each of them! My message to high school students today: “Exclusive cliques? Give it Up!”