My firstborn turns 21 today. That is a pretty big milestone in a person’s life! As recently as last week I referred to him as my #1 son. I was of course referring to birth order. Someone aptly pointed out to me that such use of a number has a ring of preferential treatment to it. In reality, I have three #1 sons. There is my favorite Randall, my favorite Daniel, and my favorite Mitchell.
There is no doubt that my favorite Randall is excited about turning 21 today. There is a new level of adulthood and independence that goes with that particular birthday. What he does not realize is that with old age comes more responsibility. He is edging closer and closer to truly having his independence declared. If all goes as planned, he will graduate with his bachelor’s degree next May. He can then enjoy all of the benefits of total freedom.

There is nothing quite like the excitement of anticipating the birth of a first child. Jan was actually due around the 4th of July in 1989, so I scheduled my vacation to begin on that day. I had in mind that she would go into labor at 8:00 the morning that her doctor told her was the so called due date. She tried to tell me that babies can be late, but obviously I was not listening. That day came and went. There was no hint of labor pains. They say women have nesting instinct. I had some kind of instinct going on. I started cleaning and scrubbing the house. I cleaned windows. I scoured floors. I had enough nervous energy to provide electricity to every home in Wichita Falls. Jan was thinking the due date had arrived all right….The date I was due to be committed to an institution!

The big day finally arrived. Shortly after midnight on July 15th, 1989 she told me that her water had broken. I told her to be more careful and not be spilling her water in my freshly cleaned home. She was very kind. As she prepared for labor, she gave me a basic lecture on obstetrics on the way to the hospital. Of course I was privileged to be with her during the entire process.

There is nothing like holding your child for the first time. I mean nothing. I knew he was my favorite Randall in less than a second. I also knew intuitively that my life would never be the same. It is just the opposite of what you feel when you turn 21. When you turn 21, you feel so very independent and free! When you hold your child for the first time, you feel overwhelmed with responsibility, because that infant is totally dependent on you.

What are my thoughts 21 years later? I am all too aware of the mistakes I have made as a parent. There is plenty of room for blunders over a period of time that spans two decades. I would go back and do many things differently.
I am also thankful for the uniqueness of each my children at this juncture as a parent. I often tell me people that Randall possesses his mother’s intellect and my mouth. That is a disturbing thought to those who know us well. But it has served Randall well. He is an extremely nice bulldog. He has unbelievable analytical abilities. He is not at all afraid to argue with anyone about a variety of significant subjects, but he is always pleasant. He just never quits. He is a bulldog. The arguments continue to come. Our other boys are not like him in that regard. They have their own unique strengths.

His 21st birthday is bringing on some good thoughts for me. I think I will start calling him my favorite Randall instead of my #1 son starting today. I am reminded today of the importance of appreciating the irreplaceable and distinctive qualities that each of my children possess. They are so different I often wonder if they came from the same gene pool.

I really need to apply that principle to all of my important relationships. Appreciate each person, because they are a unique person created in the image of God. That is a good lesson for me, because I tend to dwell on a person’s liabilities instead of the wonderful qualities that make them exceptional.

How can I not be a little sad today? I miss that little infant who was wrapped up in a Wichita General Hospital blanket. But there is a bright side. He is an adult today in every respect, so that means that he is one step closer to supporting me in the fashion to which I have been accustomed. Maybe I am not so sad… I am thinking that it is time for me to regress into the irresponsible person I was before he was born and be dependent on him. Yes…life is good. My favorite Randall turns 21 today and I am declaring my dependence .