When I lecture to groups regarding serving people in times of crisis, there is always one theme that will not go unmentioned. I attempt to gently remind all of us that the phrase: call me if there is anything I can do is not helpful to people in the middle of a personal traumatic event such as serious illness or the loss of a family member. Individuals in crisis do not have the energy to call for help.

Their thought processes are not rational. In many cases, they are in a state of shock. Their whole world has been rocked. Those of us privileged enough to serve our friends and neighbors in such situations must quickly evaluate the situation and take some kind of decisive action.

Early in the evening yesterday I assisted the Granbury Police Department with a fatality car crash that took place in the city limits. Notifying family and doing necessary follow up in such instances never becomes routine or something that any of us take casually. We make every attempt to treat families in that situation with dignity and respect.

I saw some excellent examples yesterday of good neighbors stepping up to the plate and taking appropriate actions during a time of crisis. The proprietors of a local business near the crash site repeatedly brought cold bottles of water out to our officers and other emergency workers on a terribly hot day. They were of course forced to battle the heat for several hours. I seriously doubt that our good neighbors asked any of the crew out there to call them, if there is anything they could do. They just saw a need and quickly fulfilled it. The good folks who operate Bennett’s Camping Center of Granbury are to be commended today! I am thankful to call them my friends and neighbors.

After making the initial notification yesterday, I immediately observed co-workers and neighbors’ providing support in specific ways to a devastated family. But there is not much doubt in my mind less than 24 hours after this tragedy that family and friends of the deceased person will hear the cliché that makes me cringe…Call me if there is anything I can do.

Let’s pretend. Let’s pretend that phones do not exist. Traumatized families won’t be able call us on non-existent phones. Let’s just step up to bat and serve. Here are a few ideas. It is not an exhaustive list. I would eagerly solicit additional ideas that I would never think of in a million years. (Remember I am male. We do have our limitations.)

• Sit quietly with a friend who has faced a loss. Don’t worry about what to say. There is no need for words. (Job’s friends did this for 2 weeks.)
• Mow the grass.
• Bring in food and paper goods.
• Offer to provide child care at a specific tim
• Offer to pick up loved ones at the airport
• Be alert to the need to run routine errands and offer to do those things
• Greet visitors at the home and offer to run interference as needed.
• House sit during a funeral service.

That is not a very complete list, but it is my intent to stimulate action oriented thinking. In serving as a law enforcement chaplain over 20 years, I have been in a few situations where a person facing the trauma of loss had no support system.

I do mean none! There were no neighbors, co-workers, or church family… Nobody…Thankfully that is not a common event, but I am thankful today to have friends that I can call on to assist at a moment’s notice when it does occur. I am thankful to have friends who understand what it means to step up to bat in a time of crisis. May God bless their commitment to their neighbor…

Call me if there is anything I can do…I don’t think so!