I had two conversations this week.  I actually had more than two interchanges with other people over the past 7 days, but two stand out.  If an award could be given for being characteristically private, I think I would win first place. I am a very private person.  I don’t tell share my deepest thoughts or feelings very easily.  My inner circle is small.

 In light of that reality, I did something out of character for me earlier this week.  I actually shared how an event impacted me emotionally to a friend.  That was the first of two significant conversations.  This particular person failed to acknowledge what I had just said, and proceeded to take what I shared as a means of turning the conversation around to focus on what was going on in their life.  I was stunned. As the day went on, I felt offended and put off.  And then I started wondering how many times I have failed to truly listen.  And I also asked myself how many times I have turned a conversation around to focus on me.  I literally shuttered at the thought.  The first conversation didn’t last long, but it made quite an impact on me.

A few days later the second conversation occurred.  I stepped out into unchartered territory with an even greater degree of hesitancy and shared the same how the same event had impacted me.  The person I was engaged in conversation with had a simple response.  It went as follows: “Let’s stay in touch for each other. You know I love you.”  That is a straightforward reply.  And it’s pretty simple.  But I found it to be incredibly affirming.  I walked away knowing that I had been heard.  I felt a sense of mutuality in friendship.  The second conversation didn’t last long, but it too made quite an impact on me.

I have been thinking a lot about presence lately.  I am putting my phone in my pocket a lot more.  I am trying to practice active listening skills better than ever before.  I am trying to catch myself before I “turn” a conversation and make it all about me.  And I am realizing that even very brief conversations can make quite the impact on a person’s heart.