My day began with a call out from one of our 911 dispatchers about 6:15 in the morning.  6:15 is really not bad at all in terms of timing!  But, they don’t call because all is well.  It was a challenging experience, which is the norm.  I tried to do a good job serving those who were impacted by a particularly difficult crisis. 

Later in the day another major incident occurred.  This one ended up being a late-night experience, so by the time all was said and done I arrived home around 2:00 the next morning. I was exhausted. The day started early and ended late.  I love what I do, but it can be physically and emotionally taxing.

When I arrived home, our youngest son was still up.  No great surprise… we raised three nocturnal creatures.  When I met him briefly in the hallway, he paused… He said: “You’ve had a really long day.”  And then hugged me and told me he loved me.  He knew exactly where I had been, and what I had been doing.

  I was blown away. I was touched. And, I felt valued and understood. I  have always thought that parents were supposed to encourage their children.  But at 2:00 that particular morning, I was on the receiving end.

I slept peacefully for the rest of the night.  And if the truth be known, I don’t always sleep well.  It’s not uncommon for me to wake up at 2:00 in the morning.  And it’s in those wee hours of the morning that I have my darkest thoughts.  I recall every last fault I have as a parent. I dwell on mistakes I made 20 years ago.  I wonder if I ruined my children for life due to my insecurities and weaknesses.  The destructive thoughts are never ending.  In the early morning hours, my brain works fast.

But, I slept peacefully for a few hours that night.  When I woke up  shortly after dawn, I had one recurring thought.  I have a son who possesses the ability to feel and express empathy.  In my book, that’s a big deal.  I believe that is of utmost  importance. We tend to measure our parenting success by things that are clearly tangible.  A child feeling and expressing empathy is not something most parents even think about nearly enough, but yet it’s so important.  

I tend to think that I am not the only one who will continue to be on the receiving end of such kindness from my youngest.  When a person possesses empathy for people, it has a way of resurfacing. Wondering who will benefit next is the kind of thing I need to be entertaining in my head. I am sure I can expect more 2:00 a.m. shaming sessions.  It happens at this stage in life, so next time it occurs I need to walk down the hallway, and stand in the very place where a sacred moment occurred in the wee hours of another morning.  Perhaps, I will be reminded of how fortunate I really am.