The 30- year marker has now officially passed. I have now been serving as a law enforcement chaplain for over three decades. And, I have been teaching new chaplains for approximately 16 years. What do you say to new chaplains regarding the delivery of death notifications, or the proper response to a someone who has experienced the unexpected death of a loved one? I have always stressed the need for exceptional nonverbal communication.

Active listening is imperative. And, you have to be very comfortable with human touch. Hugging is often fitting and needed. Gently placing your hand on a total stranger’s arm is often the most effective medium of communication. Sitting across from someone in fairly close proximity is not uncommon. Speaking softly in measured doses is a given. I have tried to practice such disciplines well over the years.

In recent weeks, my nonverbal communication vocabulary was suddenly expanded. I learned the phrase “social distancing.” I learned the importance of not even standing or sitting to close to someone. But the kinds of services chaplains provide is still needed. Tragic events still occur. Families still must be notified when an unexpected death occurs. We have learned to do our job with attention given to social distancing, but it’s not easy. None of us feel like we are doing it very well.

In the midst of a pandemic, I am a student once again. I am learning not to take human touch for granted. Being able to hug someone, or gently hold their hand on what may very well be the worst day of their life is not something to take lightly either. It is a privilege. Sitting in close proximity to someone and speaking in soft tones will never be viewed in the same manner. I am learning. I am learning to give thanks for the most basic forms of nonverbal communication. And, I hope I am learning not to take anything for granted. But one thing I know for sure….social distancing is NOT my strong suit!

How about you? What are you learning during this extraordinary time?