Youth ministers are not supposed to officiate at funerals. Old guys like me responsible for the church at large are entrusted with that responsibility. Some of us do it on a very regular basis. Believe me when I say: it never becomes routine. Sometimes 17 year old kids die. And it can happen very unexpectedly. The youth minster, who is accustomed to planning teen mission trips and directing camps, is suddenly thrust into uncharted waters of service.

My wife’s 17 year old nephew, Stephen, passed away very suddenly last May. He was a tall, athletic, and energetic young man. He appeared to be the very eptitome of good heath. He was fun loving and compassionate. I am sure he was a teacher’s nightmare at times, because he was 100% boy. He was a colorful character who loved life. Most importantly he was a fine Christian young man.

His youth minister did a great job handling a memorial service geared for the teens at church and at school the night before the funeral. It was well planned and handled with compassion. The same young minister in turn played a significant role at the funeral. I was impressed. He was thrust in a position that is difficult for anyone, but particularly hard for someone who may have never officiated at a funeral before.

When the service was over, I took a few moments to observe the crowd. As my eyes scanned the auditorium, I saw an older man embracing the young minister.
The younger man was overcome with emotion. The adrenenaline he had been operating on for several days must have finally crashed.

My mind raced back to one of the first funerals I ever officiated at…a service for a 6 month old baby. I was about the same age as the youth minister. I felt tremendous empathy for him. I also knew that good would come from this experience. That particular youth minister will never be the same. His view of the teens that he serves will never be the same. Youth ministers are not supposed to officiate at funerals, but when they do it changes them forever.

I need to think about the older man who embraced the young minister. That is my job now. My calling is to be the encourager and the comforter. My prayer is that I will fulfill it well. I am calling on my colleagues, who are old guys like me, to do likewise.