I did it again last night. You would think that I would know better. I participated in after midnight talking. You have heard of such a vice? It can be a very a scary mode of interaction. Perhaps a definition is in order. After midnight talking is the type of interpersonal communication that takes place late at night, when everyone is tired. Fatigue does a number on healthy inhibitions. After midnight, we are more inclined to say things that we may possibly regret the next day. The inhibitions go out the window like a failed diet, and our mouths engage while our brains remain in neutral. All of this of course happens after midnight…

Last night’s after midnight talking came in the form of a rash statement. I expressed rather firmly that a man’s wife can either build his self-confidence, or completely destroy it. I went on to to say that there is no such thing as, in between, in this process. She either builds it or tears it down.
Rash statements like that always get me in trouble. That is why after midnight talking is generally not a good habit to assume. I am standing by last night’s sweeping statement. And I think I have sufficient evidence to support such a conclusion.

My little bride has been building my confidence for a long time. My grades as an undergraduate student suddenly improved, after I met her. She convinced me that I could survive a master’s degree program. I always viewed myself as being academically inferior. And then she continued to build my confidence when I completed a doctoral level graduate degree. She told me in countless ways: You can do it!

I have always thought I was a square peg in a round hole as a minister, because I do not fit the mold.
She has told me over and over again that I am unique. I have asked her a time or two to define unique, and she has graciously invoked her fifth amendment privilege. In the final analysis, my confidence was boosted after such conversations.

I can’t possibly recount all of the ways that my little bride has injected confidence into my heart.
My math skills are simply not that advanced.

The opposite is true as well. I have witnessed compelling evidence presented by other men’s wives.
I have seen women belittle their husbands, both overtly and subtly. I know men whose dreams have been dashed, because of the negativity of their wives. That list is also way too long for me to recount accurately…

I am generally very cautious about after midnight talking. Today I am grateful that one of the first comments out of my mouth just after midnight regarded my confidence boosting wife. She deserves it, because today we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. She has had all of that time to becomce quite proficient in the confidence boosting business. I would say that she is a resounding success. I am off to bed early, because I may not be as fortunate in the after midnight talking arena tonight. It can be a very scary form of communication, you know! More on after midnight talking tomorrow…