Thanksgiving is about to roll around again soon. Families will get together to eat and watch football. There might be a round or two of golf around here, if the weather is pretty. Deer hunting is probably another option for some. I also know that Thanksgiving fires off a season that can be sad and stressful.

I did not grow up sharing the holidays with extended family. There were a lot of reasons for that. It was just a fact of life. Jan is related to most of the state of Texas, and a few in New Mexico too. After we got married in 1984, I quickly learned about holidays with an extensive network of family. There are a few characters in the family. That may be the understatement of the year. I have learned a lot from all of them over the years.

Jan has interesting array of aunts. I dearly loved her Aunt Rita, who is now deceased. Rita could be a little rough around the edges, so I could relate to her. I loved her unvarnished viewpoints that were always seasoned with humor. And then there is Aunt Cordelia. Cordelia is just cool. One of her sons is a police investigator for a DFW area department. When he was assigned to patrol right out of the academy, his mother rode out with him on a shift. How cool is that! When I asked her about that experience at a family function years ago, she said: Those guys know who the enemy is… They are all out there in the field to take care of each other. They don’t let their quirks or personality differences impede that process. They don’t view each other as the enemy. She proceeded to make the proper application as well. In churches and in families, we shoot our own! We often view each other as the enemy.

I have always remembered that astute observation. And I have shared that insight repeatedly when I am asked to speak to Citizen’s Police Academy groups or police chaplains around the state. Her observations during the initial ride out were right on target. I have been thinking about Cordelia’s experience, as I prepare for the holidays this year.

Members of my family are not the enemy. I may get really irritated with Cousin Eddie this year, but he is not the enemy! (You know every family has a Cousin Eddie. Of course my main concern is that I could be Cousin Eddie!) Jan’s aunts and uncles are not the enemy. Jan is certainly not the enemy! We are all playing on the same team. Family members should be there for each other for love and protection.

Let’s enjoy each other during the Thanksgiving Holiday. Let’s acknowledge that this could very well be the last the holiday we enjoy with some family members. Aunt Rita’s husband, children, and grandchildren will miss her at the table again this year. She has been gone over three years now. She was integral part of the team. I may even be tempted to grin for a minute during the Thanksgiving meal, as I think of something she said that I thought was particularly funny.

There maybe empty chairs at the table of Thanksgiving for other reasons too…When we allow a family member to become the enemy, conflict causes places at the table to go unseated. How should that be handled? More in my blog tomorrow, because Thanksgiving is about to roll again pretty soon…