I had never been out with a college coed, but that was about to change. It was September of 1980. I was a freshman at Texas Tech. There was a girl in my biology class that I was determined to get to know better. The first Tech home game was on the horizon. I could hear my fifth grade teacher’s voice ringing in my head. I could hear her fist pounding on the chalkboard. Opportunity only knocks once! I asked this young freshman from Amarillo to accompany me to the Tech football game that weekend, and she agreed!

Fate was not on my side from that point forward…. Things started downhill when my car ended up in the body shop. Of course they provided me a loaner car… The loaner was a beat up Chevy Chevette that smelled like it had spent one too many days in an auto body shop. The carpet was a blackened maroon; the seats were adorned in early ‘70’s stain. The knobs for the radio had obviously been pilfered by some upstanding body shop customer. Things continued downhill after I picked up my impressive set of wheels.

On my way to the Big Date, I stopped at Eckerd’s Drug Store to pick up my favorite cologne. It was Saturday night and I had just been paid. I finally had sufficient resources to purchase some much needed cologne. Now at that time Pierre Cardin was my brand. (You can still buy it today, but I was informed by one of Randall’s friends a couple of years ago that it smelled like her grandpa.) I saw a bottle of Pierre Cardin Toilette on the shelf. I am actually a little foggy on the details of this important purchase. As I recall, I think I failed to notice the toilette part of the label. I proceeded to spray that stuff fairly generously. (You remember the car did not smell so pleasant to start with.) As I proceeded down Indiana Avenue toward the Tech Campus, I started getting a distinct whiff of what I had sprayed. It couldn’t be… It was impossible… The car smelled like women’s perfume! And then I looked at the label. I had purchased perfume! I rolled the windows down. I waved my arms around in the air, as if I was going to chase the smell out like an unwanted housefly. It was too late. I smelled like…Well I had better not say what I smelled like. My date commented on my aroma before we even got out the car. Oh you have not heard? Men are wearing women’s perfume these days. It is the latest trend among college students…

I drove a few blocks from Knapp Hall to Jones Stadium. The crowd was into the game. The school spirit was evident. It looked like I might redeem the night yet. But I was soon reminded that fate was not on my side that night. Selling alcohol at Tech games was prohibited in 1980, so a lot of students smuggled in flasks in their cowboy boots. The drunken college students sitting behind us managed to spill their flask of whiskey all over my date. She was thrilled. She had already smelled the sweet aroma of my loaner Chevette, Pierre Cardin Toilette, and now she could not escape the scent of the whiskey she was drenched in. The short trip back to Knapp Hall seemed to take hours. She changed clothes and we actually ended up having a pretty nice time that night. Most importantly I learned a few things that fateful fall evening in 1980.

I learned a lesson in authenticity. If a girl wants to be with you, she will ride in your stinky loaner car. There is no need to stop at Eckerd’s to buy the latest in men’s fragrances. She will be pretty forgiving of circumstances that are beyond your control. There is just no need to try to impress.

I say that I learned such lessons that night. I am not sure that I did. I think I had to have a few more similar experiences before such lessons began to be impressed on my heart. Some of those experiences were far more painful…I proceeded to have some relationships that extended much longer than one night out to a football game that were not based on being real with each other.

The day that we wake up and realize that all we need to do is to be our self is a good day. Relationships thrive in an environment of mutual authenticity. The person we are in a relationship with chooses to love us for who we are, and not an image that we have created in their mind. In fact, we may have even created a false image of ourselves in our own mind!

As I have gotten older, I have made the conscious choice to be authentic. I am so fortunate to have wonderful friends who are committed to the same pursuit of reality. My sweet bride of almost 26 years is as real as the day is long. What you see is what you get with her. She won’t mind if I pick up the wrong king of cologne at Walgreens. (Eckerd’s is long gone!) I pray that all of my important relationships will thrive in an environment of mutual authenticity.