It has been nearly 30 years ago. I joined a ministry colleague to sit with a family while two surgeries took place simultaneously. A lady from church was receiving a kidney from her cousin, who was the donor. I have never forgotten what it felt like to sit in a surgery waiting room at a Dallas hospital that day. There are so many things that run through your head. The term “sacrifice” took on new meaning, as we waited. The…
I do not want to do that. Not today. Perhaps I will get to it another day. I may never do it. I am not feeling it. I am the ultimate procrastinator. I can rationalize putting something off in creative ways. By the time the rationalizations are formulated in my mind, I have fully convinced myself of their truth. But at the end of the day, it is still nonsense. I have successfully deceived myself one more time. I will…
It was 1981. I was completing my first year as an undergraduate student at Texas Tech. When you are 19 years old, you are invincible in your own eyes. And so are your friends. It is a fallacy. At 19, I continued to blow through life living in such deception. I should have known better. The guy who had the reserved parking spot on campus next to mine took his own life when we were in high school. Somehow, that…
Thanksgiving is next week. It sets an entire season of holidays in motion. Christmas will arrive soon. And The New Year’s Holiday comes right on the heels of Christmas. Families look forward to being together. At least I think that is true? I grew up in a nuclear family that did not do “extended family” well. We rarely visited aunts and uncles. I did not grow up playing with cousins as children. And we NEVER gathered with extended family for…
His name was Larry. Of course, I never addressed him by his first name. When I was a kid in elementary school, he was Mr. Tarver. He and my father were both executives with what was then J.I. Case Corporation in Racine, Wisconsin. My parents ran around with the Tarver’s. Keep in mind this is the late ‘60’s and early ‘70’s. Running around meant enjoying a shared meal in each other’s homes. I am sure they also went to actual…
Extending the olive branch is a phrase you have heard referenced before. It is an ancient symbol meaning “let us make peace.” The symbol finds its origins in the book of Genesis following the record of the Flood during the time period of Noah. When interpersonal conflict threatens even the best relationships, someone needs to extend the olive branch to set the process of reconciliation in motion. Being passive aggressive is tempting and even enjoyable in a morbid sort of…
Dear Police Spouses, The events of recent days have taken a toll on your husbands, wives, and fiancés. The one you love is working overtime. He is encountering people on nearly every call that are impacted emotionally by the pandemic we have all experienced. She is encountering people who are on edge. And, the one you love is being called all kinds of nasty things. Some of your families have been threatened. I have a word of comfort for you….
The events of recent days have been most disturbing to me. As a law enforcement chaplain, I join those that I serve with in denouncing the criminal actions of those who swore to protect and serve in Minneapolis. They must be held accountable. I have said little on my personal social media regarding these events. My relative silence could be interpreted as indifference, but that is not true. I am trying to practice the discipline of being quick to listen…
The 30- year marker has now officially passed. I have now been serving as a law enforcement chaplain for over three decades. And, I have been teaching new chaplains for approximately 16 years. What do you say to new chaplains regarding the delivery of death notifications, or the proper response to a someone who has experienced the unexpected death of a loved one? I have always stressed the need for exceptional nonverbal communication. Active listening is imperative. And, you have…
In 1972, we were sitting in the lunchroom at Wind Point Elementary School exchanging cans of snack pack pudding and discussing the Green Bay Packers. You notice I said “cans” of pudding. Plastic containers were still in the research and development stage at that point in our lives. In 1972, we were carefree. We were mischievous. We were not interested in academics, but we appreciated the social aspects of school. We kept things hidden in our lockers that would have…